Do you argue about whose turn it is to vacuum the house? Are you sick and tired of bags that break open because you thought you could squeeze one more once-around-the-living-room sweep out of it? Does dust follow you around as you “clean?” If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need a Dyson!
I’ve had my Dyson for several years, and it’s almost like a member of the family. I say that because when I tell my sister I’m coming to Kansas City to visit, the first thing she asks is, “Will you bring the Dyson?” Then when I get there, she says, “Did you bring the Dyson?” I know she’s always happy to see me…I just can’t be sure it’s because I’m visitng or because she’ll have pristine carpets again.
Don’t misunderstand. She has a vacuum–as if you could even classify my Dyson in the same category with mere *vacuums.* But she also has two cats. Nothing sucks cat hair out of your life like a Dyson. It’s a tribute to obsessiveness that the Dyson even came to be.
More than 30 years ago, inventor James Dyson tried 5,127 times to build the perfect bagless vacuum prototype that didn’t rely on suction-like technology as other vacuums of the times did. Why do you care about Mr. Dyson and his invention? Haven’t you been listening? It’s because he created simply the best vacuum that was ever put on this planet.
Here’s a challenge. Ask a friend or neighbor if you can borrow her Dyson. Trust me, she”ll personally escort it over to your house to conduct this experiment. First because every Dyson owner gloats. And second, she’s gonna wanna make sure you give the darn thing back. (There’s no such thing as a dull Dyson owner.)
Now, vacuum a small area with your machine. Then, pry the Dyson out of your neighbor’s cold, clammy hand, and promise…PROMISE…you’ll return it to her in just a few short minutes.Vacuum the same area again. What do you see? Aha! Those carpets really were eggshell white after all–not taupe! See the Dyson canister? It’s full of disgusting dirt and grime and thingys you don’t even want to guess what they are. And you thought your vacuum was perfectly acceptable. Ha!
The best reason to own a Dyson is if you have pets or allergies. There are 5 models, all with “root cyclone technology,” but the purple Dyson is the pet-hair-sucking miracle worker. (A Dyson cyclone generates a centrifugal force of 150,000Gs, so dust has no chance to stir up an allergic reaction.) My niece, who’s highly allergic to animals doesn’t react at all when she visits if I run the Dyson before she comes over.
Well, I could go on and on about the purple significant other in my life, but I’ll leave you with one last scrapbook moment.
Once another family member was coerced into transporting (chauffering?) Dyson to Kansas City. She had to be at the Argosy Casino for a one-day meeting. My sister, who lives 30 miles away from the hotel, made a mad dash to pick up Dyson (as you can see we are on a first-name basis), rush home to vacuum, and return to the hotel before my relative’s meeting was over.
My sister accomplished this logistical feat, and actually arrived at the hotel way too early. So she checked Dyson with the Concierge. When my relative’s meeting was over, she was informed that Mick Ingersoll, the Casino Host, was waiting in the hotel lobby to escort Dyson to her car.
There with all the business executives and high rollers, Dyson was rolled out through the lobby and around the circle drive until he could be very carefully placed into the car for his transport home. My relative was mortified about this red-carpet drama over a vacuum cleaner. “Never mind about it,” Mick said. “This is a Dyson. I have a yellow one at home.”
Originally posted 2009-02-27 10:00:37.
